Tuesday, September 19, 2006

Tapenade Bread

Alton Brown. I like his show. It's like Mr. Wizard, but a whole lot cornier and focused on food.

However, he seems much more interested in the science of cooking than... really good eats. He uses way too many tools to cook, and he seems to overcomplicate the simplest recipes.

That said, I tried this recipe because I had some tapenade I wanted to use up. Couldn't find the recipe on the Food TV site, but I eventually managed to find a transcript of the episode and I present it here broken down simple. In the actual episode, he doesn't even cut into the bread afterwards, or relate what it tastes like. (Asshole.) I can tell you, it ends up being like a slightly savory cornbread type bread. I might augment this, make it sweeter or savoryer or something... in any case, git some.

3 tsp. Baking Powder
3 1/2 C. Flour
1/3 C. tapenade
1 1/4 tsp. Salt
1/2 Cup Olive Oil
1 Cup Skim Milk
2 Eggs, Beaten
2 Tbs. Honey
Handful of roughly chopped olives

Whiz up the Flour and Baking Powder in a food processor. Dump in the tapenade and whiz that till you can't see it no more.

Dump the Salt, Olive Oil, Milk, Eggs and Honey into a large bowl. Whisk up till it's thoroughly emulsified. (Honey'll clump up in the cold, so just keep whiskin.) Stir in the olives.

Pour the dry ingredients in. Use a spatula to mix until JUST incorporated. DO NOT OVERMIX. It's okay if there are dry bits, just go with it.

Pour into a greased loaf pan and bake @ 375 degrees F. Check it at about 45 minutes. Knife test it. It may have to be in there for as long as an hour and twenty minutes, but 45 minutes was good for mine.

Let cool about half an hour before cutting in. Or fuck Alton and just dig the fuck in. Who gives two craps?!

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